Feeling rather confident in my daily use of Japanese, I sometimes find myself completely blown away and shocked by what is said, what I hear, what I understand, and what was really meant. I'll try to explain.
First, for those who don't speak Japanese YET - I'm sure Jun will be glad to teach you who don't live in Japan - let me just talk a bit about casual conversation in our neighborhood over here.
The first thing to remember is that we almost never use the pronoun "you" in Japanese, and rarely the pronoun "I". You can guess how this can get difficult at times. In place of the "you" and "I", we use a kind of 3rd person speech. Let me give a few examples:
(Mama talking to Junnie)
ENG: Junnie, I'm going to wash your face now.
JPN: Junnie, Mama is going to wash Junnie's face now.
Using names or descriptions of people becomes especially helpful when you don't know their name. Especially at the park.
(Mama talking to Junnie's friend, Yu's Mama What's her name???)
ENG: Would you and Yu like to come play at our house?
JPN: Would Yu's Mama and Yu like to come play at Junnie's house?
Well, I am not sure I have set you up for what happened yesterday, but...I tried. Please keep in mind that I KNOW these speech patterns. I USE them daily! I have done so for YEARS! That made my shock yesterday so much deeper.
A new mother/child came to observe our Toddler's class. I knew them slightly from the park, and the Mama remembered Jun - everyone does. At the end of class, we were all having obento's and suddenly she turned to me and asked in Japanese- in front of everyone - "Where is Jun-chan's mother from?" Well, our sweet baby, Jun, is our adopted angel. Some folks in our neighborhood know this and some don't, but for some reason, my brain said that this Mama did know that and she was asking me where Jun's Birth Mother was from. My mind went completely blank! Huh? Why do you want to know that for? Though I share a lot about our family, THAT is REALLY private information! Luckily I am also struck dumb when my mind goes blank, so I just sat with my mouth open.
A friend from church noticed something, because she quickly rephrased the question to me directly, and I was able to recompose myself, realize that she was asking about ME! I am Jun-chan's Mother! I just kept shaking my head all day. If Jun weren't adopted, I'm sure I would not have jumped to any conclusion other than the correct one, but, this one really threw me. I still have a lot to get used to about mothering, mama'ing, and being a mother through adoption.
4 comments:
I did not know that Jun was adopted. That must have been tough, luckily your friend from Church helped out with the explanation!
Can you tell me a little more about your toddler classes? Do you do them in English? I ask because you live in Tokyo right? I don`t have any children but I hope to in the future and would love to hear more about your classes.
I am constantly making mistakes in Japanese that leaves people looking at me like I am a little nuts. The 3rd person thing in Japanese always throws me a little too...I always feel like I am saying my own name too much!
Oh, wow, I can totally imagine that that could throw you for a loop! I know what you mean about all the left-out pronouns - it can get confusing sometimes. I remember reading Japanese novels (translated into English) in college for a Japanese literature course I audited and thinking that it was really confusing - who did what? I'm glad your friend helped you with this situation!
oh wow! You know what I bet she didn't even notice- probably thought you didn't catch what she said. :)
It's funny how what we're sensitive about can colour our perceptions. I'm about 6-8 years younger than the other mums around here and I remember going to playgroup and being asked 'nansai?' and freaking out at the rudeness until I realised of course she meant my daughter! @^_^@
lulu - I am getting ready to write a post about the Toddler's Class. I am trying to get my resources together to share first! Thanks for asking!
Abigail - Yes! I am so thankful for friends!
thefukases - That is TOOOOO funny! And so so very true! What we are sensitive about is so big to us and others don't notice it!
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