I've told Jun we are really too old to consider adopting another child. She has apparently been thinking about this for some time. Today's conversation went like this:
Jun: Mom, you really aren't very old. Why don't we find someone who has lots of children anyway and who is going to have a baby and you can talk to me and we can get the baby and I'll have a brother or sister.
Mom: (What could I say? I laughed!)
A few minutes later Jun asked: Mama, are you in the "three numbers?" Are you over 100 yet?
Mom: (I laughed again!)
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Monday, February 6, 2012
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Disney'ed
After hearing good reports about "Tangled," Jun and I watched it. We fast-forwarded through some of the "scary" parts and discussed "bad guys" and, actually, missed most of the ending until Rapunzel is back with short hair and partying with her family.
With her REAL Mother. After that, Jun watched Tangled again with a friend next door. They watched the whole thing, so she was able to explain to me how Rapunzel got her hair cut off.
Then came the question. "Mama, are you my REAL Mother?" Well, as most of you who have been stopping by here over the years know, Jun is adopted. She knows that she is adopted, and we occasionally talk about "M-san" who's tummy she came out of. I have not used the phrase "Birth-Mother" with Jun yet. We just use the woman's first name with love and thanks. I also do not lie to my kiddo. So, I thought for a bit.
"Yes," I answered. "I am your REAL Mother. God chose me to be your Mama forever, and the government in Japan agreed and said that I am your Mama forever. Yes, I am your REAL Mother."
The conversation has come up a few times.
How do "step-mothers" deal with Disney movies? I wish Disney would give us Mama's a break!
With her REAL Mother. After that, Jun watched Tangled again with a friend next door. They watched the whole thing, so she was able to explain to me how Rapunzel got her hair cut off.
Then came the question. "Mama, are you my REAL Mother?" Well, as most of you who have been stopping by here over the years know, Jun is adopted. She knows that she is adopted, and we occasionally talk about "M-san" who's tummy she came out of. I have not used the phrase "Birth-Mother" with Jun yet. We just use the woman's first name with love and thanks. I also do not lie to my kiddo. So, I thought for a bit.
"Yes," I answered. "I am your REAL Mother. God chose me to be your Mama forever, and the government in Japan agreed and said that I am your Mama forever. Yes, I am your REAL Mother."
The conversation has come up a few times.
How do "step-mothers" deal with Disney movies? I wish Disney would give us Mama's a break!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Jun
Ryu put Jun to bed tonight while I was teaching. Later as he and I were chatting, he told me what Jun had said right before going to sleep. Very painful words.
"I hate myself! I hate my black hair and my face! I don't want to be Japanese American! I just want to be American!" Then, Daddy snuggled her and she asked in Japanese, "Daddy, do you think I'm cute?"
My heart still doesn't feel the pain. One of those shocks that you know in your soul will come someday. But...
Lately she has been commenting on my "growing out curly" hair. Light colored hair. She noticed a child adopted from China and commented on her "squinty" eyes. And tonight, I know she was tired after a long and a good (I think/thought) day.
I'm so glad that Ryu is also Japanese with Asian features. We call him our "handsome man."
How do I show her that she IS BEAUTIFUL!? She is JUST as God made her and WANTED her to be. And how many millions of times will it take before she believes me?
The best advice I've ever been given regarding adoption is, "don't get emotional and your kiddo won't either." So, tomorrow I will gently ask some questions and continue to water the seeds we've planted over the years. Please pray for my sweet sweet baby girl, and her parents!
"I hate myself! I hate my black hair and my face! I don't want to be Japanese American! I just want to be American!" Then, Daddy snuggled her and she asked in Japanese, "Daddy, do you think I'm cute?"
My heart still doesn't feel the pain. One of those shocks that you know in your soul will come someday. But...
Lately she has been commenting on my "growing out curly" hair. Light colored hair. She noticed a child adopted from China and commented on her "squinty" eyes. And tonight, I know she was tired after a long and a good (I think/thought) day.
I'm so glad that Ryu is also Japanese with Asian features. We call him our "handsome man."
How do I show her that she IS BEAUTIFUL!? She is JUST as God made her and WANTED her to be. And how many millions of times will it take before she believes me?
The best advice I've ever been given regarding adoption is, "don't get emotional and your kiddo won't either." So, tomorrow I will gently ask some questions and continue to water the seeds we've planted over the years. Please pray for my sweet sweet baby girl, and her parents!
Friday, September 19, 2008
WHAAAAAT?
Feeling rather confident in my daily use of Japanese, I sometimes find myself completely blown away and shocked by what is said, what I hear, what I understand, and what was really meant. I'll try to explain.
First, for those who don't speak Japanese YET - I'm sure Jun will be glad to teach you who don't live in Japan - let me just talk a bit about casual conversation in our neighborhood over here.
The first thing to remember is that we almost never use the pronoun "you" in Japanese, and rarely the pronoun "I". You can guess how this can get difficult at times. In place of the "you" and "I", we use a kind of 3rd person speech. Let me give a few examples:
(Mama talking to Junnie)
ENG: Junnie, I'm going to wash your face now.
JPN: Junnie, Mama is going to wash Junnie's face now.
Using names or descriptions of people becomes especially helpful when you don't know their name. Especially at the park.
(Mama talking to Junnie's friend, Yu's Mama What's her name???)
ENG: Would you and Yu like to come play at our house?
JPN: Would Yu's Mama and Yu like to come play at Junnie's house?
Well, I am not sure I have set you up for what happened yesterday, but...I tried. Please keep in mind that I KNOW these speech patterns. I USE them daily! I have done so for YEARS! That made my shock yesterday so much deeper.
A new mother/child came to observe our Toddler's class. I knew them slightly from the park, and the Mama remembered Jun - everyone does. At the end of class, we were all having obento's and suddenly she turned to me and asked in Japanese- in front of everyone - "Where is Jun-chan's mother from?" Well, our sweet baby, Jun, is our adopted angel. Some folks in our neighborhood know this and some don't, but for some reason, my brain said that this Mama did know that and she was asking me where Jun's Birth Mother was from. My mind went completely blank! Huh? Why do you want to know that for? Though I share a lot about our family, THAT is REALLY private information! Luckily I am also struck dumb when my mind goes blank, so I just sat with my mouth open.
A friend from church noticed something, because she quickly rephrased the question to me directly, and I was able to recompose myself, realize that she was asking about ME! I am Jun-chan's Mother! I just kept shaking my head all day. If Jun weren't adopted, I'm sure I would not have jumped to any conclusion other than the correct one, but, this one really threw me. I still have a lot to get used to about mothering, mama'ing, and being a mother through adoption.
First, for those who don't speak Japanese YET - I'm sure Jun will be glad to teach you who don't live in Japan - let me just talk a bit about casual conversation in our neighborhood over here.
The first thing to remember is that we almost never use the pronoun "you" in Japanese, and rarely the pronoun "I". You can guess how this can get difficult at times. In place of the "you" and "I", we use a kind of 3rd person speech. Let me give a few examples:
(Mama talking to Junnie)
ENG: Junnie, I'm going to wash your face now.
JPN: Junnie, Mama is going to wash Junnie's face now.
Using names or descriptions of people becomes especially helpful when you don't know their name. Especially at the park.
(Mama talking to Junnie's friend, Yu's Mama What's her name???)
ENG: Would you and Yu like to come play at our house?
JPN: Would Yu's Mama and Yu like to come play at Junnie's house?
Well, I am not sure I have set you up for what happened yesterday, but...I tried. Please keep in mind that I KNOW these speech patterns. I USE them daily! I have done so for YEARS! That made my shock yesterday so much deeper.
A new mother/child came to observe our Toddler's class. I knew them slightly from the park, and the Mama remembered Jun - everyone does. At the end of class, we were all having obento's and suddenly she turned to me and asked in Japanese- in front of everyone - "Where is Jun-chan's mother from?" Well, our sweet baby, Jun, is our adopted angel. Some folks in our neighborhood know this and some don't, but for some reason, my brain said that this Mama did know that and she was asking me where Jun's Birth Mother was from. My mind went completely blank! Huh? Why do you want to know that for? Though I share a lot about our family, THAT is REALLY private information! Luckily I am also struck dumb when my mind goes blank, so I just sat with my mouth open.
A friend from church noticed something, because she quickly rephrased the question to me directly, and I was able to recompose myself, realize that she was asking about ME! I am Jun-chan's Mother! I just kept shaking my head all day. If Jun weren't adopted, I'm sure I would not have jumped to any conclusion other than the correct one, but, this one really threw me. I still have a lot to get used to about mothering, mama'ing, and being a mother through adoption.
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