The Family, 1/2 a century and 3 years

A dear (IRL) friend who I actually SEE pretty regularly commented on my consistent lack of blogging.  And she is right.  One "problem" is that Jun is growing up!  So, I feel a little guilty sharing her stories as freely as I did when she was little.  This DOES NOT mean the stories are over!  OK!!!!  Here's one of the more recent ones:

Jun - Jun's 1st grade teacher is off having her baby...by C-section...OUCH!  So there is a substitute.  (A wonderful teacher, I MUST add, from my experience with her in the class.)  Jun has been giving the sub advice.  She isn't as strict as the other teacher!  The kids aren't minding as well as Jun thinks she should, so she reprimands them too!  Only child?  Bossy?  Leader?  Wonderful Kid?  YEP!

Ryu - I've been keeping up with Ryu's professional life on his Facebook page.  R.I. Leather.  You can see his company's blog in the sidebar...I hope!  He makes custom ordered leather products.  Many wallets, bags, belts, book/Bible covers.  Recently he finished a notebook, and is now working on a two-toned bag made of Minelli leather.  This is SO soft.  Blue and dark brown!  Can't wait to see it!  He seems to learn/discover/invent new techniques with each product he "builds."  I can see him growing and growing in his chosen profession!!!  And sometimes I get to help!

Me - Well, let's start with 1/2 a century first, shall we?  Ryu and I turned 50 last year!  I really feel older, finally!  Like an adult.  Like I finally understand my 20 and 30 year old self.  And, better understand other people who are in their 20's and 30's.  The 40's are still a little fuzzy!  I finally understand people who were in their 50's when I was in my 20's and 30's.  It's a good place to be at in life. 

And 3 years!  We celebrated our "3 Years in America" on Easter Sunday this year.  I made Ginger Pork!  But, more than that, Ryu and I reflected on all we've learned in the past 3 years.

• I re-remembered how to pump gas and taught Ryu how to do it.  (Oregon is NOT self-pumping.)
• I can use my debit card anywhere without INTENSE feelings of foreignness/ cluelessness/ embarrassment and without thinking!  This is a HUGE change for me!
• We bought a house.  Still can't believe that our brains were working well enough to even think of buying a house when we hadn't been in the US even a year yet.  In reflection, we truly see God's hand in THAT!
• I no longer cringe at huge chunks of meat at the grocery store.  I have a few ideas/plans/options on how to cook them!  Unfortunately, then we eat them.  We are consuming much more meat than we did in Japan, I'm sure!  We even BOUGHT 1/2 of 1/2 a COW!  Seriously!  Buying meat by the cow!  I was happy that the meat was grown by our ranching friends.  Organic or organicish is becoming more important since living in the US.
• I can shop at Winco now without running screaming to the car.  I do have to take someone with me, but that someone can be Jun!  And that is always fun.  She is a huge help to her Mama.
• I can shop at Walmart...most of the time.  AND.........Sometimes I do the Self-Checkout!!!!!!
• I am more familiar with all the different coffee options.  And know to get myself something else when Ryu orders a plain double shot of espresso.  YUCK!  Jun and I even know what Italian sodas are now!
• I can shop for a very limited time for CLOTHING for ME!  Kohls seems to be the store I can handle. If Ryu is with me, I come home with something too!  I wish I could shop for shoes!  UGH!  Still making do with shoes I bought YEARS ago or that were given to me.  Jun, on the other hand LOVES shopping.  We rarely take her!
• Speaking of shopping, Ryu and Jun enjoy shopping at "recycle shops."  Who knew you could actually get brand named items at a decent price at thrift shops?  I, on the other hand, would rather wear cheap and new.
• We walked through the process of getting our home loan refinanced and getting a new credit card.  Not a scary process at all, unless you consider the fact that our credit card application was approved in, literally, the 5-10 minutes we chatted with the bank woman on the phone.  That is Scary!  No wonder America is in debt up to its ears!
• I am working in an office part time now.  With Americans.  That speak English.  My English level has improved a lot.  Though the other day I was asking my boss if he wanted the form to be "up and down" or "cross-ways."  They forgive my momentary (I hope) lapses in English.  I blame these lapses on living in Japan.  I fear they are also related to being 50!
• Schools.  Having Jun in public school has been a big surprise to me.  I thought I'd homeschool her, but..for a myriad of reasons, she 's at the public school.  Public schools are not the same now as they were in the mid-60's.  On one hand, I understand better why many parents choose to homeschool.  On the other hand, I wish those homeschooled kids and their awesome parents were part of the public school system for all the kids and teachers and community to benefit from their time and talents.  I enjoy volunteering once a week.  It isn't much, I know, but I give lots of hugs, ask lots of questions, and help a few bright boys with Math.

I feel that I should add a "Looking Forward" paragraph to this post!  I'm not good at these.  So I will just make a few comments:

• Would benefit from some REGULAR exercise!
• Would benefit from some GOOD sleep!
• Need to continue to learn about lawns.  I BELIEVE there is a reason God gave us a house with 1/4 acre - much of it to be turned into lawn.  Once I'm out working on the lawn, I begin to enjoy it.  Looking at its sad state from inside the house is quite stressful!
• Would benefit from a more SANE schedule.  See Sleep and Exercise above.

Well, that is it for today!  Gotta make breakfast and today is Week 2 in our "FINISH THAT BEDROOM!" project for the month of April.  Not a big project at all, but, we've decided to take it in small weekly bites.  See "Sane Schedule."

The Seed

Well, now I know EXACTLY why many peoples did/do? fertility dances around the time they plant their gardens.  Seriously!  You plow up some brown dirt.  You read the small print on the back of the package to see how deep and far apart the seeds are supposed to be planted.  You plant said seeds with your "just-graduated-from-kindergarten" kid rather randomly and then water and wait.   And wait.  And wait.  How FRUSTRATING!  There is not ONE THING that you can do to make those silly seeds come up.  And how is one to know WHAT IN THE WORLD the seed is actually doing down there!?!?  I NEED to DO SOMETHING!  (Thus the caps!)  So, I finally understand a few ancient rituals.

That being said - the faithful radish did come up!  I put the last few in "clean out the fridge" stew.  No one was very impressed - but...hey!  We had to thin the carrots.  I wouldn't try transplanting baby carrots.  I mean - you could try.  We did.  To no avail.

Then some grass-like leaves started coming up by the tomato that we thought froze the first night after I planted it - and that Jun then pulled all the leaves off of - and that then came back to life and now has tiny green tomatoes on - but I don't know if I bought a mini-tomato plant or a real life sized one...  So - back to the grass-like leaves.  I couldn't for the life of me remember what we'd planted there.  I thought beans, but...even novice gardener that I am - I knew beans DO NOT come up looking like grass.  Apparently spinach does!  So, we are having a bit of spinach now!

The eda-mame seeds (that I sm*gg**d into the US) - the ones that produce early in the season?  The seeds did not read the package.  Not a flower on them!  The peas, on the other hand, are growing up and up and up.  Guess who did not read the FRONT of the package and notice she was buying POLE PEAS - who knew they existed?!?!?   And who would NEVER buy POLE anything if she could help it - as she has NO POLES?!?!  They are making pods!  Yeah!

I planted beans after the broccoli went belly-up.  Lots of beans!  One thing I learned was why people plant so many seeds!  Many DON'T come up!!!!  Well, most of the beans have come up.  Looks like Jun and I will be thinning (and replanting? - Jun has this thing for life) beans soon!

On top of all that gardening stress, our neighbor plowed our back 1/8 acre!  So, I raked and raked and raked and planted some grass seeds and watered and watered and watered!  Right when I was getting the package out to see just when these little grass seeds were supposed to sprout, they started.  Now the weeds are also sprouting.  So, between the two - we should have a flattish green space out back that kids can play on - in two months!  So much for summer!

Anyway, I looked at the townhouses with longing when we were in Boise the other day.  No yard to mow.  No flower garden to weed.  No veggie garden to worry about.  Just a nice grey sidewalk.  Well, maybe when we get lots older and Jun looses her love for seeds and DIRT!

Our Trip to Japan

Nearly 2 years to the day from our departure FROM Japan, we returned TO Japan.  What a wonderful wonderful trip it was!  It was good timing for me - two years.  Not so long that I felt like I was returning to something that had changed too much.  Nor so soon that I'd refuse to get back on the plane to come back to the US.  Just right.

While the word "nostalgic" is not one often used by any English speaker that I know personally, the word "natsukashiiiiii" in Japanese for virtually the same feeling is an everyday word in Japan.  And our trip had many "natsukashii" elements to it.  For me, anyway.  For Jun?  It seemed like she had forgotten everything Japanese.  That she'd ever ridden a train!?!?!  That she'd ever been to the park that we went to OFTEN!  That the PASTOR who had babysat her for years was someone she knew!  Then, in an emergency situation we ended up at a "squatty potty" at a train station.  Suddenly she had MEMORIES!  "Not THAT kind of toilet!!!"   Too funny.  Her Japanese pronunciation returned rather quickly and she tried to speak Japanese at times.  At other times she had me translating for her as she was "teaching" the little boy at the park that he must be kind to "ari-san" (ants).

The streets were a lot narrower.  Distances were much closer.  Perhaps not carrying or walking with an infant, 1 year old, 2 year old, well, you get the picture - made things closer.  Longer legs and less interest in "ari-san," rocks, etc.

We visited our friends from our apartment building.  It was so good to see them!  It felt like time had NOT passed, though I so wanted to peek through the letter slot in the door of our old flat to see what the remodelers had done to it!  I didn't!

For the first week Jun and I saw 3-4 groups of friends each day.  We played, prayed, ate, talked and talked and talked!  Neither of us tired, though our schedule was insane.  Jun would ask, "Mama!  Who do we get to see TODAY?"  I hadn't realized just how lonesome life is for me in the US.  Not that I'm not incredibly busy and don't have many acquaintences - but seeing those that you spent 10 years or more of your life with...it's different.  My dry heart was filled back up!

I knew it was about time to come back to the US when Jun looked longingly at the back door of the church that we were staying at, saying, "Mama, if we just open that door there will be a park and kids will come and play with me."  Well, no, Junnie.  If you open that door there will be 18 inches of rocks and a wire fence and then another 18 inches of rocks and a house.  Jun is used to our 1/4 acre lot and kids on either side!

As we met family and friends and saw places we loved to visit, our love for Japan was confirmed, as well as God's wonderful timing to have brought us to the US at this time in our life.  Jun probably would not thrive in the Japanese culture.  Talk about a nail standing out ready to get hammered down!  Ryu and I probably wouldn't escape that hammering either.  All of us are thriving here in the US - and are thankful that life is getting to be as settled as life ever gets.  Not very!

I'm Not Going to Stress About It!

When Ryu and I decided that we would move back to the States, I made a serious demand of him. One that, having lived in a foreign country for 15 or so years, I felt qualified to demand. That demand (don't I sound bossy?) was that he never walk around moping because he felt people were being prejudiced towards him. "You know," I said, "It's probably going to happen. You can live above it or under it. And you had BETTER live above it!" I have no desire to live with two people with a "victim" mentality towards their racial heritage.

Ryu has been called a "Jap" since coming to the US. He lets it go in one ear and out the other. He has a Mexican classmate in his ESOL class that is truly prejudiced against in his work situation. Being called "Jap" is nothing, let me tell you.

Today Jun came home from school a bit sad. "Mama, K---- doesn't want to be my best friend because I'm Japanese and her skin is darker than mine."

(Jun freely introduces herself saying, "I'm Jun. I'm Japanese." No, I didn't teach her to do this, but have proudly stated myself that she is Japanese. )

So, we talked about God making children with skin all different colors because he is a creative God and he loves each and every one of those kids. And he would like those kids to be friends too.

We will hope and pray that K---- will move past this stage in her young life, and that Jun will be able to encourage other kids who are not pearly white, that God made them just the way He wanted them to be!

A Poll on Outdoor Lighting

Our house here in the States was built in 1951. It is a very cool house with four outdoor lights along the front and one out on the street.

When I was growing up, we only left outdoor lights on until everyone was home from babysitting or play practice. Then the lights went off and we went to bed.

Ryu's family in Japan left their outdoor light on all night, indicating that someone was there in the home. Not knowing this, I was surprised that we were paying good money to light up the neighborhood (and the inside of our house as we don't have curtains up even yet), to let people know we were home. I guess part of this was - if people are home, burglars won't come. Maybe?

Anyway, if you wouldn't mind commenting on your country and whether you leave the outdoor light on all night or not and...if you have a reason for doing what you do...why you do it? Thanks! I really have no idea what "Real Americans" do, I guess!

Travel in the Big City

We spent five nights in Portland, OR for our vacation. More on the wonderful things we did on vacation later, but...the DRIVING! Drivers in Portland are CRAZY!

Now, if I had said this last year, you would think...yeah, you just got back from Japan and think that driving in ANY small town or on ANY freeway is dangerous!...and you would have been correct. However, I will have you know that I no longer drive local roads and freeways and cities in fear for my life! I have noticed how RELAXED I now am in driving around this area.

Then we went to Portland. Suffice it to say, the driving was VERY stressful! We prayed every day for safety and needed divine safety ALWAYS! Ryu, who worked so hard to get his Idaho driver's license said, after yet another close call, "All of these people have studied to pass and HAVE passed their driver's tests...however NO ONE knows the traffic laws!" To be 100% honest, I DID think - to have SO MANY close calls in such a short amount of time, maybe the problem really IS ME!?!?!? But, really! I don't think so. I was so so glad to get back to my part of the world...at least for the ease in driving. The heat? That's another story!

Names, Faces and Places

The other day I wrote about Jun's "shot" experience and decided to flip back through old posts to see if I'd written about the OTHER shot experience. The one that involved kicking and screaming. I had written about it, but in looking through all the titles of last summer's posts, I was struck by how far we (I?)'ve come in getting used to living in the US after 15 years or so overseas. WOW!

As I seem to be the one of us three that had the hardest time adapting to the US, I'll tell my story. When we "landed fresh off the boat" or the United Airline's plane, anyway, it was like every nerve in me was on high alert. I couldn't sit next to any English speaking conversations without eavesdropping. Their English words just JUMPED into my ears, no matter how hard I tried to ignore them. Words jumped off signs at me. I went to some stores and WANTED EVERYTHING they had to sell. I was DISGUSTED at the "biggest is bestest" theme in stores, fast food restaurants, ...well just about everywhere.

I noticed EVERYONE on the street or anywhere else. I remembered EVERYONE's names, like they were burnt into my mind. And I still remember them.

Well, a few months ago we moved to a different town and a different state. And names? I can't remember anyone's name. Anyone's face. Where I met anyone. I went to register Jun for school and I've come away with the secretary's first name and one kindergarten teacher's last name. I hope she gets that teacher, that will put me a bit ahead! But, while I guess I could just be overwhelmed and my mind going on "pause" could be another sign of Reverse Culture Shock, I just find that comparing the two experiences is quite interesting. Which is better? Well, I cry less often this summer than last! That's good!

YEAH, Ryu!

This has been the year of Dept. of Motor Vehicles for us. Well, especially for Ryu. He came to the US with an International Driver's License. In Oregon, that license can be used for one year. And, if my memory got up with me this morning, the International License was only good for one year, anyway.

Well, he studied on-line all last fall. Then, stepped up his study in the spring. Then we bought a house in the neighboring state. However, we decided that he should get his license in Oregon first, as he'd been studying for it. So, he started with the paper test. In English. He failed. After paying $5 the woman at the desk told us that, though there is no manual in Japanese, they DO have the test on the computer in Japanese. OK. That would have been nice to know AGES ago! So, he waited the prescribed amount of time after a no-pass grade and went back...two more times and finally passed in Japanese.

Another reason we decided he should get his license in Oregon was that he had been driving around a bit in the town for the actual driving test and had some experience there. That town was much smaller than the town he'd have to take the test in in Idaho. I must say, when he passed his actual driving test the first time, I was a bit surprised. Even more surprised when the tester told me that he is a "very safe driver." Hmmm. I might add here that Ryu was a "paper driver" in Japan. He had passed the driver's license test ages ago, but had not driven in YEARS. Very common in Japan, BTW.

Then we moved. And had to take paper tests again to change our licenses to Idaho. Well, it was a very long day. Idaho has the test in Vietnamese, not Japanese. Not a bit help for us. So we both took the test in English. I passed, Ryu did not. We went back two days ago. He had stayed up late many nights reading every word in the manual. In English. And HE PASSED!!! IN ENGLISH! I was so proud of him, and the staff at the DMV were so happy for him! YEAH!

In case you find yourselves in a similar situation, the DMV was ready to set up a time for him to take the test with me translating for him. I'm sure I don't know enough words in Japanese about traffic laws (I never drove in Japan) to do a very good job, but...if you ever need this kind of service, the DMV may help you with it, FYI.

Actively Living

For so so so many years I have said that one of the things I enjoyed most about living in Japan was that I had to use effort - use my head - use creativity - to live each and every day. Using Japanese at church and in the neighborhood, shopping and reading (or memorizing) labels. Cooking Japanese, fake Chinese, or quasi American food all took effort to find the recipe, find the ingredients, etc. Raising a kiddo in a foreign country took effort. Think of Dr.'s trips, play dates, grocery shopping on foot. Even going to the bank was an effort, especially if what I was going to do was beyond the normal stuff. And I enjoyed most of these challenges very much.

Loosing that daily challenge was one of the things that made me sad about leaving Japan. From now on I would be living in the US. I speak pretty good English, read it fine too. Can get a wide variety of things at a wide variety of stores that I can travel to by car. I was not looking forward to the "easy" life.

What a fool I was! EVERYTHING has been uphill since we got here. Not bad uphill, just uphill. All the legal stuff just to get Ryu and Jun over here. Jun's citizenship. Ryu's driver's license. Jun's schooling (what to do this FALL??!?!?). Buying a house?!?!?!?!!? Lots and lots that I have to learn every single day! Starting a new part time job...teaching ENGLISH! Lots of stuff to remember that have nothing much to do with teaching. I am the one to call when the dishwasher doesn't work, when the new microwave doesn't microwave. When the car breaks down - though, to be honest, my Dad has helped tons there - he doesn't mind using the TELEPHONE - which I HATE!

Anyway, I guess I was actually living a bit in a cocoon in Japan. Boy it was warm and soft, compared to my life now. But, I feel as if I am really and truly ACTIVELY living each and every day now. It isn't the healthy homemade food (we are living on pizza and hot dogs while we remodel the house), nor the great exercise (I have taken exactly ONE walk in this new town of ours), but the old brain is definitely being worked each and every day. And, I think that is probably a very good thing. Right?

Jun

Ryu put Jun to bed tonight while I was teaching. Later as he and I were chatting, he told me what Jun had said right before going to sleep. Very painful words.

"I hate myself! I hate my black hair and my face! I don't want to be Japanese American! I just want to be American!" Then, Daddy snuggled her and she asked in Japanese, "Daddy, do you think I'm cute?"

My heart still doesn't feel the pain. One of those shocks that you know in your soul will come someday. But...

Lately she has been commenting on my "growing out curly" hair. Light colored hair. She noticed a child adopted from China and commented on her "squinty" eyes. And tonight, I know she was tired after a long and a good (I think/thought) day.

I'm so glad that Ryu is also Japanese with Asian features. We call him our "handsome man."

How do I show her that she IS BEAUTIFUL!? She is JUST as God made her and WANTED her to be. And how many millions of times will it take before she believes me?

The best advice I've ever been given regarding adoption is, "don't get emotional and your kiddo won't either." So, tomorrow I will gently ask some questions and continue to water the seeds we've planted over the years. Please pray for my sweet sweet baby girl, and her parents!

It's COLD!!!

We were outside for a few hours today trying to fix our laundry system. Basically, the hot water hose burst a month or so ago and flooded the whole floor and shed (and bunnie's home under the floor, I'm sure - though I had no chance to ask them.) Then we've had trouble with the washer washing after it filled with cold water. Today's fun was that no water would even go into the washer. And right about then, we noticed the water leaking from the hose where it attaches to the cold water faucet. A lot. And the faucet couldn't be turned off. Sooooo, thinking of the bunnies and all, I called the city and they came and turned off the water - in about 5 minutes. I do love many things about small town life. Then I made two trips up to the hardware store to get the correct parts and return the incorrect ones. Ryu went next door and borrowed two pipe wrenches and a handful of other wrenchlike wrenches. And, with my Dad on Skype for 2 1/2 hours talking us through various stages of changing a faucet (don't forget the tape!) and attaching the tubes...we called the water man and he came and turned the water back on for us. And...we had a washer...that didn't work still!!! So, we put the heater on the floor of the laundry room and waited an hour. Now it works. At least the washer is filling...I so hope it does it's whole thing properly!!!! So, that's the pipe wrench story.



The next two stories are language stories. Believe me, Ryu laughed along with us all when we told him!!

My niece was telling Uncle Ryu about this new horse she was going to buy. She was so excited! It was 6 years old and it was broke and they only wanted $400 for it. Uncle Ryu could not IMAGINE why anybody would spend $400 on a broken horse! We laughed and laughed.

One morning Ryu came to me and was very worried. When he 'd been putting Jun to bed the night before, she'd been talking away like usual. He understood that her teacher while she was at kindergarten had made her get into some kind of a position like an upside down cross. He wondered if there had been some...strange things happening there. I talked to Jun. It turns out her teacher uses the phrase "criss cross applesauce" when she wanted the kids to sit cross legged - unless they are wearing skirts, of course! Boy was Ryu relieved!

Jun stories? Well, last night she said, "Mama, I think you need to cut the hairs on my knees. They are getting long." I did well and didn't laugh out loud! I think the hairs on my knees could use a bit of attention too!

Jun did a few days of stress hives between Christmas and New Years. Caused Ryu and I A LOT of stress, we were so worried about her. Things seem to be settled down now, so...we need our boring lifestyle, I guess!

Shopping story!!! We found a store in Boise that sells important staples for our family! Like natto (fermented soy beans) at a reasonable price - only 3 times what we paid in Japan. They are frozen, so kind of soft, but Jun is very happy and has no desire to share with anyone! They also had yakisoba - at a reasonable price!!! With real Japanese chemical powder to put in the noodles. We couldn't have been happier. They also had kakinotane (spicy rice crackers with peanuts). Jun is ecstatic! Oh, and mochi for New Year's!

Fuyu futori family!!! We have all added pounds (yes, probably even kilos) so far this winter. Being housebound is part of it. Eating is the other part! ARGH!!!

In other news...hmmm...we started homeschooling today. Jun is doing very well. She learned a lot during our long winter vacation. I don't think I will be quite as "hishi" (crazy?) about getting everything done every day as I was in the fall. She learns from everyone and everything! And long a with a silent e seems to have clicked! YEAH!

Just wanted to let you know we are alive and well, though freezing!!! Happy New Year!

Ignorance Isn't Bliss

Since coming to the US, I've realized more and more - in our own situation as well as observing others - that ignorance comes with a high price-tag.

Our most recent "Ignorance is Expensive" voyage into the new world came through the windshield on our car. Driving home on the freeway, nearly 3 weeks ago, a rock was kicked up by a car in front of us and smacked right into our windshield. I was and am very thankful that we had the windshield there, as it came right at me with enough force to chip the windshield.

This is the first time I've had a car with a chipped windshield. Call me inexperienced? Call me - having spent lots of my driving hours on L.A.'s freeways where, I guess, random rocks didn't fly out and hit me. Either that or the gridlock kept anyone from driving fast enough to let anything fly! Anyway, I am/was a "chip out of the windshield" novice.

However, I thought I remembered something about getting the chip fixed as soon as possible so the windshield wouldn't crack and need to be replaced. Unfortunately for us, our town doesn't have a glass repair place. And the day after we got the chip, it started to snow and we left on a trip (without the car). So the cracking began.

Finally, this Tuesday, we were able to get the car into the next town that has quite a few glass places - now that I know to look for one. Unfortunately, as we drove to town we could see the windshield crack grow and grow and grow.

A "free because the insurance company will pay for it" repair became a new windshield, and our insurance has a rather high deductible for that kind of thing. Kind of makes one a bit sick. From Free to...probably around $250.

But, Mrs. Clause left us a generous cash gift when she returned to the land of Mrs. Clause. I guess God went before us and prepared what we would need. But...what a waste!

PS: If you would like to contact me, please leave your e-mail address in the comments, and I will write you ASAP!

Kurushiiiiii!

I'm sitting here between classes. I wish I was wearing a belt that I could loosen. The elk, the turkey, the dressing the cranberry pudding, the pumpkin pie, the the the - were all wonderful and all sampled and, my stomach is KURUSHIIIII.

Now this brings me right into my topic for today. How do YOU say KURUSHI in English? Full just doesn't seem to convey the feeling of...KURUSHIness that is found in the word KURUSHI!

I got a letter from a dear friend who used some kind of computer translation to send the letter to me in English. I translated it back into Japanese to understand it's meaning to the fullest:

The gift was sent from the post office yesterday.
What have you entered?、
The enjoyment after it reaches.

The package has arrived and I can't wait to get home to OPEN IT! (NOTE: Especially as packages over 453 gm or 1 lb cannot any longer be sent to the US until further notice!)

There are words like NATSUKASHI that I hate to try to translate. "Nostalgic" is just not a word I commonly use in English. Neither is the phrase, "Long time - no see." And, anyway, NATSUKASHI just seems to fit!

When I first lived in Japan I hated the phrases SHIKATA GA NAI, or SHO GA NAI. I always thought that SHIKATA GA AAAARRRUUU or SHO GA ARUUUUU was the right way to live. (Stick with me, you who are learning Japanese as you read!!) But, as motherhood took over previously held beliefs, I decided that sometimes there really IS not Shikata, there IS no Sho! So, these phrases became part of my life and vocabulary. So, my laziness has continued and I have directly translated those phrases as: It can't be helped. And used it with Junnie. (Any other folks want to shout out that they TOO think that EVERYTHING CAN be helped???)

However, there is nothing cuter coming out of a 4 year old's mouth than the phrase, "But Mama, it can't be helped!" She even got the proper past tense on the phrase last week, "It couldn't be helped." It would make me really want to laugh if I didn't know how peculiar the phrase is...and if that wasn't the only way that I could think to confess SHIKATA GA NAI!

Thankful: To hear from so many of you on yesterday's post! I hope you all have a blessed day!!!

Grocery Lugging

It always surprises me about what catches me by surprise - whether living in Japan, or the US. Today it was the woman checker at the grocery shop that got me!

First, I wasn't even going to go grocery shopping. I went twice this week already and didn't find what I wanted or didn't remember to look for all that I wanted. And, on some days, going grocery shopping is too much of a mental stress, while on others it is fun. This was a mental stress day.

But, I went anyway. Why? Because after my stop at the bank and the drug store, my car was parked on a one-way road that pretty much leads to the grocery store. So...I took the road of least resistance.

When I got to the store I decided against the huge grocery cart, as I had no Jun to haul along. And, with no Jun, I would have felt a little silly bent over pushing the kiddie grocery carts. So, I got a basket. Thinking - as I often foolishly thought in Japan, that if I get this little basket, I won't buy OTHER things. I think I'm getting ready to hibernate for winter. My freezer is literally nearly full (it's a small freezer, but...) My cupboards are bulging with...food. Well, anyway, I filled my basket with various things - the last 5 pounds of whole wheat flour didn't fit, so I just lugged that in the other hand up to the check stand.

As the clerk was ringing me up, she looked around for my cart to put the bags into. She looked surprised and asked me, "Did you carry all this up here?" I felt surprised. "Yep!" Wow! Yep - an "in Japan" story. (I may be telling lots of these lately, now that I mention it.) We lived in "shita machi." This means that most folks get around on foot. The shops are not far away, there are few parking lots and...we do a lot of lugging.

BJ (Before Jun), but I should really say, "Before I broke down and took Jun out of the sling and began to use the stroller (baby car)" shopping involved a lot of lugging. Being a ruralish American, we shop once a week or less. So, you buy lots at once and...in Japan, lug it all home. On top of the baby strapped to your chest. Then you lug the bagssss up to the 4th floor to your apartment! And you didn't gain the fall-five, nor the fyuyu-5 (winter) that year at all!!!

Then came the baby car. I could hook the plastic shopping basket on the handles of the baby car and push kiddo and food. Only once did this not work well...at all. If I remember correctly, I had the kiddo on the sling and...the baby car flipped over and, I'd had the basket resting on the top of the roof thingy, and things went flying everywhere. And everyone rushed to help me. Oh well!

Anyway, with the stroller, I could sling groceries exceeding Jun's current weight on the handles and in the holder places, as long as I didn't take my hands off the handle. Jun was great for helping Mama haul groceries!

So, as I carried out my three bags of...kind of heavy? groceries out to the car today, I reminisced about Grocery Lugging in Japan. What great exercise that was!!!

Thankful: For all the friendly faces I would see on my grocery trips in Japan. And thankful that I am still in touch with some of them!!!

International Families

I don't know if this vague and short post should go under Re-Entry, or under Culture Shock, or under ARGH!!!!!!!! I'd sure appreciate your input.

As this post is not intended to attack anyone or anything, it will be vague.

We are cross-cultural family newly moved to the US. My husband and daughter are Japanese citizens. Last week was Veteran's Day in the US. We were at a meeting, of which a very small part was dedicated to commemorating this day and honoring the Veterans who were in attendance. There was a video show that did the whole Pearl Harbor thing, to me, rather thoroughly. There was also a 9/11 presentation. I don't remember the Korean or Vietnam or Gulf Wars or other wars being mentioned. I sat with my Japanese husband at my side and my Japanese daughter playing at my feet and wondered what, if anything to do. I put my hand on Ryu's shoulder and left Jun to her play and we sat it out.

Before we came to the US I demanded (can one do so?) that we not allow perceived prejudice to affect us and to plant seeds of anger and victimization in our hearts. We have done really well so far. Ryu has been in many conversations where Japanese are referred to as "Japs." I've been in a few myself. And we just turned the other cheek, knowing that it is a title for many older people in the US verses a term of disparagement. However, though I may let someone call my husband a "Jap," I will never allow anyone to call my daughter that.

So, that is why I did not get up and corral my family and leave the meeting. I know that no one meant any particular offense to us. Everyone treats us with love and respect there.

I guess I just wish that people would become a whole lot more "politically correct." How can we honor our veterans and acknowledge that the world is a different place today?

Homesickness? Nostalgia? RCS?

I was perfectly shocked the other day. By myself, in fact. I was somewhere and Christmas music came on. And I suddenly felt an insane homesickness for Japan! Japan and Christmas and homesickness???

I was used to the US's frenzied December Christmas party, shopping, church events and all out craziness of Christmas when, in October, I went to Japan to live for a year - ended up being 2. So, I thought I'd be fine missing a Christmas at home. It was the worst Christmas of my entire life. At that Christmas I realized - for the first time - that Christmas, for me, was my FAMILY!

So, I didn't miss a Christmas at home for years after that. Then, about 13 or 14 years ago, I moved back to Japan, in the fall again, for 6 months - THAT turned into 10 years. Going home for Christmas just 2 months after spending all that money to come to Japan is/was just silly, so I spent that and the next 9 Christmases or so in Japan.

The first of those Christmases shocked me again! Ryu and I - not yet dating, but friending - left a Christmas Eve party at church and were walking to the station. I saw men hurriedly taking down Christmas banners and decorations from the Isetan (big department) building and putting up New Years' stuff. On CHRISTMAS EVE!!! Quite surprised!

But, i really did enjoy my subsequent Christmases in Japan. I enjoyed the chances to talk to my students about the beginning of Christmas from the Bible. I enjoyed having mini parties for them and cooking treats that were new to so many people. I felt like Christmas in Japan was more of a "real Christmas" than Christmas in the States - especially as there is not much emphasis in Japan on shopping or gift giving. Good old Santa just brings one gift per kid in Japan, you know.

Then came Christmas with our very own kiddo! Wow! That makes Christmas extra special. When Jun was 2 we finally made it home for Christmas! It snowed Christmas Eve and was wonderful, quiet, spiritual, special and delicious. We shared dinner with a wonderful couple, the husband of which is now looking down on us from heaven.

Suddenly a Family Christmas in the US seemed to be the most wonderful of all! Now that we are here in the US - why would I become homesick for or miss Christmas in Japan??!?!?! Maybe it is Reverse Culture Shock? Maybe we all miss what we've grown used to. Maybe nostalgia is just unexplainable. Maybe I'm just going crazy?

Anyway, we know where we will put our tree. We have the sled ready for snow. I plan to reteach Jun my simplified Christmas Cantata for Kiddos, and, yep, I miss my students and friends something awful! So strange!

Thankful: For the great day we had, watching corn get harvested, meeting new people, and having lunch with Grandma and Grandpa. The school where we played had the coolest see-saw! Even Grandpa and Grandma rode it!

Daylight Savings Time!

You know - as in "Spring Forward" "Fall Back"! Or, if you are not part of the Daylight Savings Time world, you may not know. But, most of the US changed the time of their lives Sunday the 7th at sometime in the middle of the night.

Living in Japan for 13 or so years this past stretch, DLST has not affected me much. Except for when calling the States. Were we 17 or 16 hours ahead???? This does not mean that I have not THOUGHT about DLST many many times WHILE living in Japan. And LONGED for it! Let me explain.

When I was a kid, we walked down a brushy, tree-ey narrow-ey path down the hill to the highway to catch the bus. When school started in September, it wasn't all that bad. But as time went on, the morning walks got darker and darker. Then, one day in the fall, miraculously, we'd be early to church and the sun would come up an hour earlier and we could walk rather safely to the big highway and wait for the bus with a bit of sunlight.

Fast forward to my life in Japan. Actually this was a work related visit to Japan, but... A colleague and I decided to climb Mt. Fuji on the spur of the moment. We took a bus to station 6 and then started walking in the quickly darkening evening. We turned on lamps strapped on our heads and kept walking with our jingly bell walking sticks. We took a few puffs of oxygen as the air got thinner and, happily made it to the top of the mountain (this post is not being written to describe the horrors that have been put upon this beautiful mountain. ARGH!) in time to see the sunrise - about 3:30 am. That was the first and only time I was happy to see a sunrise at such an early hour!

All summer Japan's farming community is up and moving way before, in my humble estimation, God meant for people to be up and moving. And then, when the sun stays "up" till 7:00ish (in the Tokyo area) we are supposed to be so happy! Come now, my dear friends, WHO needs sun at 3:30 am, and who WOULDN'T like a little sun on a warm summer evening. Though, that last sentence did make me think. Japan's hot and humid summers may NOT be when they want longer "sunshiny" evenings. Hmmm. Well, anyway, I DID!

So, I have really enjoyed our summer in the US! The sun came up properly around 6 or so and went down around 9 or 10pm. I was in heaven. Then the sun started coming up around 7. Still OK. Then it was 8:15ish! That is too late. I CANNOT get up if the sun refuses to cooperate. And laying in bed till after 8 is just not right.

Now our world is back in a better "light" mode. The sun comes up around 7 and goes down by 7. That works for me very very well!

But, OOPS - I just read the label on the calendar. Daylight Savings Time has just Ended. Hmmm. Now I'm confused. But, what's new? Since coming back to the US, I am usually a bit confused or about ready to become confused. So, I'll close and just say - confused or not - I'm happy!

Thankful - for the sunny day we had today!!! I NEED sunshine!

What are Butterscotch Chips For?

My Mom said it isn't bribery. She said it was a reward. I don't remember getting either bribes OR rewards as a kid. Maybe they stopped before I got old enough to remember? Mom?

We have a bit of a situation here. Our very bi-lingual daughter is becoming 1 1/2 lingual. Meaning she still understands a lot of Japanese, but prefers to speak in English. And she will tell you that herself!

And we have a husband/daddy who is a native speaker of Japanese, but who needs to learn English.

And a wife/mama who speaks Japanese with Daddy and English with the daughter. And often is carrying on conversations with both of them simultaneously in different languages at the dinner table.

So, anyway, to get back to the butterscotch chips, we have a friend coming from Japan for a week around Thanksgiving time. We can't wait to see her and can't wait for her to speak to Jun in JAPANESE - which she promises to do!

We are trying to get Jun's tongue to move Japanese style before our friend gets here, so we have set dinnertime for everyone to speak Japanese. However, EVERYONE seems to forget this.

It's amazing how a growable/shrinkable pile of butterscotch chips can jog one's memory! I doled out five to each of us. If Ryu or I spoke English, we had to give up a chip. If Jun spoke Japanese she got another chip and if she spoke English she lost one. Ryu ended up with three chips. Jun ended up with 14. I ended up with my original five and a daughter who thought speaking Japanese was SO much fun and who can't wait to play this game again tomorrow! With sprinkles. Minute sized sprinkles.

And, with sprinkles we will INDEED play this game at breakfast with our chocolate chip peanut butter granola. Let me know if you need the recipe!

Thankful: Today wasn't the happiest day of my life. It started with having to roast a 25 lb (11 kilo) turkey for church. I don't think anything went wrong with it, but...I felt the stress. I guess I'm thankful for all the leaves that had fallen in our yard as they gave me something to rake and release some of that stress!

Mars and Venus? I'm a True Believer!

Ryu's main "job" is studying English these days. He goes to the local Community College and attends their ESOL class for advanced students. There are usually about four students in the class. The teacher was born and raised in Hiroshima! I have to laugh. There are NO native English speakers in THAT room. That does allow them to have interesting discussions, however. More than grammar and vocabulary, they talk about communication - the way Americans' communicate verses people in their home cultures. Being in a bi-lingual, bi-cultural marriage, this is pretty interesting for ME too.

Well, anyway, Ryu's conversation partner in this group is a Spanish speaker from Peru. He is a few years older than Ryu and seems to be a very hard worker. Yesterday Ryu came home and said that they had stood out in the street after class and talked (in English - of course!) for an hour!

I asked, "Is he married?" Ryu said, "I didn't ask."
I asked, "Does he have any kids?" Ryu said, "I didn't ask."
I asked, "How long has he been in the US?" Ryu said, "I didn't ask."

The ONLY question that I asked that Ryu knew the answer to was what the man is doing now. And, I suspect Ryu didn't ask that, but the man volunteered. No Japanese man that I know would ever ask what someone else did for a living!

My last question, "What DID they talk about for an hour?????"

Thankfulness: We went to Boise today! Only the second time I've driven there in our six months here. It was a beautiful day and the fall leaves were gorgeous. And, even though Boise seems to have lost all of its Panda Expresses, we enjoyed our search and had a great and relaxing day together!

Futon Cover - Remake

It really has nothing to do with green grass, but I was always a little dissatisfied with our top futon in Japan. It worked better after I made two singles into a queen size and got a cover for it/them. But, I wasn't too awfully sad that we couldn't bring it with us to the US.

Enter - the US. And thrifty, cheap me! We acquired a filled bedspread with ruffles, a really soft pink blanket and a wonderful top sheet (that I NEVER used in Japan because of the futon cover we used!) So, we have fought with sheets and blankets slipping here and there for the past six months.

I have had an idea for about five of the past six months, but didn't know what the weather would be like here in Oregon during...anytime at all! Now I am an expert on a "very warm year with a late summer and a late fall" in this part of the world.

So, I took my idea into hand and made it a reality. It is cold enough here in the summer to need to sleep in long pajamas and use a sheet and a blanket. Days are hot, nights are not. Think: desert! So, my idea will be PERFECT for spring, summer and fall - at least!

First I sewed around the outside of the bedspread and then CUT that ruffle right off. We are not ruffle people. Except for Jun. She LOVES them. Then I attempted to center the sheet on top of the blanket and sewed it up on three sides. Lastly we shoved the bedspread in and MADE IT FIT! We think we need to come up with an idea to secure the bedspread inside the cover, but...we have discarded about 10 ideas already, so...

Now we have a top bed covering that is made of a nice soft blanket in the winter. In the summer we will take the bedspread out and turn the cover over for a great sheet/blanket combination.

Right now Ryu has the bed made with this plus two more blankets. I am TOO HOT! But so happy that he made the bed that I've done nothing about it!

Thanks: I'm thankful for my parents and all that they are always doing to make our transition to life in the US as easy as possible! We REALLY appreciate them and can't WAIT to celebrate Ryu and Jun's first Thanksgiving in the US with them!!!